Okay, so on a daily basis I get requests from self-styled "freelance writers" who want to do a guest post on one of my 100+ blogs. (Yes, I have a lot of blogs - some of them are very popular too.)
Most of the time I delete such emails because they are a waste of time (they just want free advertising and are too cheap to pay for it). Sometimes when there is a chance they will actually buy advertising (actually pay for it), then I shall respond.
Sometimes, on rare occasions, I might even respond because they are proposing a topic I find to be interesting. My curiousity gets the better of me because I am truly interested to see what they have to say about a particular topic.
Six days ago a "freelance writer" contacted me asking to do a guest post on one of my blogs that is about a variety of "outdoorsy topics", including fishing, hunting, gardening, foraging, camping, DIY projects, off grid living, alternative energy, etc. The name of the website is Project Gridless.
So this writer contacts me and says he can write about the following topics:
1. Hunting and Fishing
2. Spotting Scopes
3. Shooting and Outdoor niche
I didn't really want to read the dribble he would be possibly be spewing about hunting, shooting or scopes - so I gave him some limited options of writing about fishing or a different outdoors topic.
So he chose the fishing option.
Today he got back to me with a horribly written article (containing a link to a website that sells rifle scopes, so it was obviously just advertising).
Now as someone who has shot rifles, including rifles with scopes, I was really disgusted by the vomit level quality of his writing. So annoyed I wrote the following response:
When you first wrote me back on September 19th you expressed an interest in writing about the following three topics:Great Lakes 0 times.Bass 0 times.Trout 0 times.You mentioned fly fishing 0 times.Hey Eric!The post you sent is useless. The article basically only pretends to be a fishing article, but is just an article about rifle scopes.
Whoever wrote that article should be fired. It is not even well written and whomever wrote it evidently knows diddly squat about both fishing and rifle scopes. Whomever wrote it clearly had never adjusted the sight on a rifle scope before, and it showed in the writing that they knew nothing about the topic and were just spewing garbage. If you wrote that yourself, you should be ashamed to call yourself a freelance writer. It is pure vomit.
If you recall on Sept. 19th I recommended writing a fishing post on the following topics:I counted and while you did use the words fish or fishing 13 times, the article is much more about hunting with a rifle scope and contains the words hunt or hunting 14 times.
"fly fishing, fishing for trout, bass, or any kind of freshwater fish found in the Great Lakes"
1. Hunting and Fishing2. Spotting Scopes3. Shooting and Outdoor niche
Those topics suggested that you perhaps had some knowledge in those areas. Surveying the topics I determined we were only interested in topics about fishing or "general outdoors". That basically means hunting, scopes, and "shooting" is off limits for a topic.
However judging by the vomit you sent me, whoever wrote it knows sweet-****-all about both rifle scopes and fishing, and has no business writing about topics they are ignorant of.If you want me to post an article about fishing, write an article about actual fishing - and it had better be a knowledgeable and well written article. No more vomit.
And after sending that email I was still so annoyed I felt this deserved an angry blog post.
My official opinion of "freelance writers" is that the vast majority of them are ignorant morons.
And "guest posts", as you may have already have guessed, are a complete waste of time unless the writer is willing to pay $$$ for the advertising privilege.
Sometimes in the past I have also written up an email response to these daily requests to do guest posts. Something like the following:
Thank you for contacting me. I get at least a hundred of these "guest post" request emails per month. They are actually really annoying. So here is the thing: I have bills to pay and little free time to deal with annoying cheapskates. Unless you are willing to pay $$$ for the privilege of advertising on one or more of my websites then I ask that you don't waste my time. Any requests to get a "free guest post" will be deleted / marked as spam. I have no time for annoying people who cannot read instructions and don't understand that when running a business TIME = MONEY. Stop wasting my time unless you have money to pay for your advertising.
Call it a pet peeve if you want, but consider the following.
The average life expectancy of a Canadian is currently 82.14 years.
82.14 years x 364.25 days per year x 24 hours = 718,067.88 hours of life expectancy.
Since I am currently 38.5 years old, I have already used up 336,567 hours of my life expectancy. So I have already used up almost half of my allotment of hours, assuming that I don't die sooner somehow?
Why should I waste any hours of my remaining time answering emails from moronic cheapskates?
Have a nice day!
PS. I am contacting the company the moron Eric works for and am going to tell them to fire him. They should not be wasting their money on halfwits.